Of course it's Jen Hatmaker! I recently read her book "Seven" and it's changed my heart in many ways, particularly in making it more tender. Technically, it was always tender. It's just that I only let the tenderness well up to a certain level because if I didn't keep it in check it'd spill over. Mostly out my eyes. You can't cry your heart out every day and be a terribly effective mother.
However, Jen's perspective set my threshold a little higher.
It could be the time of year (baby Jesus always makes me spill over)
but the other day while sitting at a stop light running from one errand to another with no kids in the car, I just burst into tears thinking about how much I miss them. Not the "them" that I interact with day to day. That 'them' I love and kiss and hug and cherish and argue with and fuss over and nag till their sick of me.
The 'them' I miss to the point of heartbreak is the 'them' that is lost to time.
THEM at six months old
THEM at one year old
THEM at 18 months
THEM at 2
or 3
or 5
or 7
or 10
THEM of six months ago
or last year
or last decade.
And it seems no matter how much I soak them up in the here and now,
it's never enough. I guess that's love. It's definitely
