Potty Training is not for Sissies

I knew I hated potty training.  I just forgot all the reasons.  After four days of me, Ben and his turtle potty hanging out together, I remember!

The little guy was keeping himself dry all night, and could hold it during the day like a camel.  So really, it was just me holding him back.  I had to suck it up and do the right thing.

And just like I expected, he took to it like a duck to water!  Of course he knew how to go.  He's watched the rest of us file in and out of the loo for the last 3 years, he's no dummy.  But ask him if he wants to use the potty and the answer was always "NOPE!".  So I didn't ask this time.  I just told him, and everyone else "On Monday, Ben's going to learn to use the potty!"

I used my neighbor Kris' suggestion of a 3 day potty bootcamp.  Just Ben, me and loads of pretzels and salty snacks followed up by buckets of watered down apple juice.  By the time the kids got off the bus on the first day, he'd already had 7 hits!  The only 'miss' was when we were coming back from picking the kids up - he was wearing pants and they threw him off.

So pee?  Pee we've got covered.  But #2 is a different matter entirely.

He decided he wasn't going to go.  Ever.  I'm not into tough potty love, so I told him since we wear diapers when we sleep, and since it was naptime, he could wear one.  And then when he didn't nap, I let him roam in it for a while.  I figured it would give him an 'out'.

He didn't want an out though.  He just didn't want to poop!  So for three and a half looooooooooong days, he didn't.  We've been here before - it's a control issue.  I knew he wasn't constipated, so it was only a matter of time before the castle walls were breached.  But the WAITING, and the WHINING, and the

"Help me Mommy!"

"Hold me!"

"I need to sit on your lap, Mommy!"

"MommyMommyMommyMommyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeee!"

That, plus the fact Ben's poop-avoidance protocol is to jog around incessantly in circles, only stopping to put a death grip on my leg (face, neck, back, really whatever he can grab fastest)...was enough to drive me to the edge.

It's the constant state of red alert that a potty training parent has to be on during daylight hours.  It's like living with a bomb that could go off at any time.  And as the domestic goddess of the household, it's my job to make sure that NOTHING HITS THE UPHOLSTERY OR CARPET!!! 

So he jogs around, I jog behind him.  All.   Day.  Long.

Finally today, the end of the battle was imminent.   He insisted on having to hold me, so I stood there and let him tree-hug my leg.  For twenty minutes.  Thank goodness for Iphones, that's all I'm saying.

And still....NOTHING!

Finally I just gave up.  I logged on to check email for ten minutes and just let him go.  He was jogging all around the house, up the stairs, down the stairs, through the kitchen, over the couch, in the front hall, through the dining room and back again. 

"Let it fall where it may" I figured.  I was too exhausted to care!

And then a miracle happened.  He jogged over, plunked down beside me, and...

this

space

is

an

escape

hatch

for

those

with

a

weak

stomach

because

YES,

I'm

about

to

go

there...

PAYDIRT!

He apparently was even more exhausted from the ordeal than I was, and was in bed, asleep, before sunset.  It's 8:30pm and I am not far behind.

Tomorrow is our first diaper free car ride and play date.  Prayers would be gratefully appreciated!

Tenderhearted things you can learn from a dead slug.

You know it's really easy to label people.  Our spouses, our kids.  Even ourselves.  You get it stuck in your head that someone is one way, and then even though they are many other things as well, that one thing overshadows the others not because it's true (though it may well be) but because you mentally labeled it so.

I spend so much time some days/months/years dealing with the persistent/precocious/persnickety side of Jack's personality, that sometimes I miss the many nuances of his spirit.

The other day in the car we were reminiscing about Sluggo, our little slug friend that we found in our backyard last spring.  The friend that Ben and Molly refused to leave alone and kept sneaking into the house inside all sorts of habitats they created for him; a bowl with leaves, a watering can with water, a pocket...you get the picture.  Slugs just aren't that fast, so he never did manage to escape his suitors.

Eventually, poor Sluggo was loved to an early grave.  And to this day we all sigh and say "Remember Sluggo?" when we need to remind ourselves that sometimes the best way to love nature is to leave it ALONE.

So we were having that talk in the car the other day on the way back from who knows where, and Jack suddenly BURST into great big heaving sobs. 

"Poor little Sluggo!  He deserved to LIVE!!  I feel so AWFUL, so terrible.  He's DEAD!  Because of US!!  What a horrible horrible way to die.  Poor Sluggo!"

Of course this eventually wound it's way to vicious finger-pointing at the perpetrator of the murder, who was in fact, only two at the time and couldn't really be charged with a crime because of his ignorance of the ramifications of squooshing a slug....but I digress...

The point here is that I've got a brilliant, tenderhearted son who also happens to be many other things.  But for one moment I just wanted to preserve that facet of him. 

And maybe if I can seal it into my mind properly, then THAT is what I will see when the many other parts of his personality present themselves to me.  Not my challenging child that is also tenderhearted, but my tenderhearted child that is also challenging.

And maybe it will help me be more tender to him.

Erin Go Bragh!

I've always been enamored with all things Gaelic, Celtic and Irish.  In my twenties when I had free time, I took adult Irish dancing lessons, went to Irish festivals, listened to Irish music and when Marc and I got married we decided on simple gold bands with spirals etched into them to represent the neolithic carvings at Newgrange in Ireland.

And then I had kids....and kind of forgot about all that Irish stuff.  Molly attempted Irish dancing lessons last year but they were so boring the child was in tears.  I mean, there's only so much skipping a 5 year old can do before she falls asleep from the monotony, you know?

But Saint Patrick's day!  Now THERE'S a day when I can indulge and truly enjoy my Irish heritage!  Especially out here in Chicagoland, where the river runs green and Irish pride runs almost as deep as it does in Southie and Dot.

Naperville has a HUGE Saint Patrick's Day parade and I was so excited to go with Marc and the kids.  We didn't count on 30 degree weather and gale force winds though.  Or a rare Mega-Molly-Meltdown that caused us to be 45 minutes late and park a half mile away.  We got thisclose to the parade before the shrieking, whining, grimacing and kvetching finally made us turn back.

See?  THISCLOSE!!

So we went out for pancakes instead.  Whatcha gonna do?

At least we looked Irish.  Cornrows and Cableknits - it's all over Dublin runways these days.

On the actual St. Paddy's Day, we were able to celebrate in style with Auntie Trecie, who was visiting on her Spring Break from nursing school.  We also got to celebrate baby Cam's first St. Patty's Day too - he's quite the celebrity around here - even a diaper change requires supervision by all three Mallett kids with exclamations of "He's sooooo cuuuuuute!" and "CanIholdhim?CanIholdhim?CanIholdhim?CanIholdhim?".

I brutally overcooked the corned beef, but Uncle Paul poured a delicious black and tan that more than made up for it.  And because nobody really enjoys the cabbagey potatoes from the pot, I also made sure to have mashed potatoes and baked potatoes on hand.  Next year I think I'll skip the boiled veggies altogether in favor of baked or braised ones and cook the meat in the crockpot alone. 

All pf our decorations are courtesy of Dollar Tree, my favorite place for good stuff, cheap (there's no Building 19 in Chicagoland, so I'm safe with the copyright infringement I think).

We had some leprechauns too.  They were after the cupcakes!

These two below are the SWEET Leprechauns.

Just happy little sweet things they are.



Expand the picture and you can see the LOONEY Leprechauns that surround them...

Seriously?  All I said was SMILE, I swear. 

And then when you thought it couldn't get any crazier...

Why yes, that IS the new baby Skyping with his  Havanese furcousin.  Because it wouldn't be a holiday without dogSkyping.

Millie eventually let Nana talk too, she's not a diva like that.  Well, yes actually she is, but she's small enough that she can't reach the buttons without help ;o) 

Nana was looking great and we were all so happy to see her!

She had to get a close look at Cam's big toe because he clearly takes after her in the realm of wierd illnesses and foibles that happen to otherwise healthy people.

Cam's bandaged toenail, where a brewing infection had to be lanced.  Seriously?  Only three weeks on the planet and his poor teeny toe has to be assaulted?  Lucky for him and his parents, he's so good-natured that he didn't even wake up for the procedure.  Or when his awesome Aunt Beth went to kiss his "good" toe and instead kissed his "boo-boo" toe.  (he had socks on - I swear I thought it was his good toe!)

Poor baby, with a family full of screwballs.  Luckily, he's one of us, so hopefully he won't notice!

Happy Saint Patty's Day to everyone

 and Cead Mile Failte to the family Cameron!

Vacation to Paradise 2011!

We had an AMAZING time in Turks and Caicos last month.   Before we even boarded the plane to come home we were brainstorming which friends we could convince to come back with us next year.  I could totally see this being our "thing" and going back year after year for the forseeable future. 

There were more activities for the kids to enjoy than I could count on all my fingers and toes.  From the on-site water park, to the gorgeous beach with perfect castle-making sand, to the day camps that were so fun Jack nearly cried when we came to take him home, to the 24 hour help yourself pizza and ice cream buffet, to the Xbox game garage with 30+ flat screens and games loaded up...it was pretty much heaven on earth.

Poor Molly was so ovewhelmed with all the goodness she'd break down in tears at breakfast every day because she couldn't stand to eat with that gorgeous pool staring her in the face.  The girl just wanted to SWIM!

And for the grownups there were candlelight dinners, an on site spa, gym and french cafe for daily capuccino (and pastries!), kids activities that actually left us with FREE TIME, and that beautiful Caribbean ocean to gaze at.

I narrowed down over 700 pictures to 160 - I'm sorry, but it was necessary to detail all the fun we had! 

Of all the things we did;

Molly's favorite was kayaking

Jack's favorite was snorkeling

(in the OCEAN!  For the boy who HATES the ocean!! 
This was a breakthrough of major proportions)

Marc's favorite was sitting in the sun doing nothing

My favorite was sitting on the beach next to my honey reading a funny book, and scoping out the best sand castle ideas for next year!

Click here to view these pictures larger

Sadly, we did have 2 days of clouds and rain. It was one of the lessons we learned on our maiden voyage. We considered this a 'scouting' trip. Next time we will remember to;

• Stay a whole week so that a few days rain won't eat up half our trip
• NEVER TRAVEL ON A WEEKEND!! The Providenciales airport that was a cake walk on our Tuesday arrival was a NIGHTMARE on our Saturday departure
• Fly American Airlines at our own peril (three out of four flights were delayed for HOURS due to mechanical issues. It took us 13 hours door to door to come home, with only 4 of those in the air)
• Get the kids hooked into the kids camps ASAP
• Check in before arrival (we missed the cutoff for this and it caused a few headaches and hiccups on our trip)
• Bring sand toys (the shop was sold out!)
• Get Mom's and Molly's hair braided on the first day to keep it hassle free the whole trip
• Bring twice the number of bathing suits and half the number of shoes

I think I speak for all of us when I say we can't WAIT to do it again!

Daylight Savings Time Bites

It is now 9:17pm at the Mallett house and not one little mouse is sleeping.  There have been four hundred and seventy eight callbacks for reasons such as;

• I'm thirsty
• I'm hungry
• I'm lonely
• I think I just threw up and swallowed it
• My tooth feels cold
• I can't sleep
• I want to sleep but my roomate keeps talking (note that both roomates are saying this about each other)
• I'm too tired
• It's too early
• It's not early enough
• I need TV
• I need a snuggle

And the list goes on. 

I tried to stay in the moment - I didn't yell once, though a few complaintive grunts may have slipped out inadvertently.

It was hard not to hear the clock tick-tick-ticking with every minute becasue of the work I have ahead of me tonight.  My house is TRASHED.  Like, hours old food still on the kitchen counter, toys and shrapnel all over every flat surface, dinner dishes still on the table, and I think there may even be a used diaper on the TV room floor!  Luckily, it's not festering as it was dry when I took it off.  Someone's got some impressive holding power as of late.  Monday is potty training bootcamp.  Pray for me!

Right now, I'm in that evil limbo spawned by do-gooder attempts.  I attempted to attack my front hall closet in my "40 Bags" cleanout.  Instead, it attacked me.  I had stuffed our dress-up overflow in there (bad idea - it had babies I think).  And the worst offender was the tent and tunnel city Ben got for Christmas.  I was innocently buying elbow gloves (a truly amazing product) when up popped the special offer of the day.  The "Tent N Tunnel" set that looked like the perfect replacement for our torn and tattered, 8 year old tent and tunnel set.  And it was a steal at way 75% off.  Turns out it included so many tents and tunnels (the pop up kind that you have to twist just so to get back into storage) that opening the closet is like opening a can of worms from Bozo the Clown.

We ended the afternoon with a minivan cry-fest that was finally solved by three juice boxes in my brother's driveway.  Amazing what a little blood sugar readjustment can do!

When we got home and the children saw the tunnels and tents and dress up stuff I was wrangling, they decided to play with ALL of it.   All. Over. The. House. It was hilarious while it lasted - a raucous good time really.  They were funny, and adorable, and worked together.  They even did the limbo under a mopstick!

And the evening wound down on a wonderfully positive note.  I wish I could say that it was my fabulous nurturing spirit that coaxed the children out of their sullen moods, but no, it was not.  It was something that was even better.

 The CHILDREN coaxed ME out of my sullen mood!!

I had taken Molly aside to do her reading and the boys couldn't stand being away - the story of Buddy the Dog, as told by their sister, was too magnetic.  We all ended up in a big huddle on the loveseat listening to Molly read.  Afterward, Jack offered me "his world famous massage" for my right hand and Molly thought it looked so fun that she took the left.  Ben wanted in on the deal, so he got a play staple gun and stapled my tummy so it would "feel nice and great!".  Then when Jack finished my hand, he went to work on my feet, and Ben kissed my big toes for the grand finale.

Now that's LOVE. :)

I admit, I've got it pretty darn good.  Now if I can only channel that thought at 1am when I'm still wrangling pup tents!

Who needs a playground...

When you've got an extra mattress lying around...


Jack and Ben's new beds were delivered this week, with new mattresses.  Molly's was in the worst shape, so she got Jack's old mattress, and her cheapo one is destined for the basement until we can figure out what to do with it.  In the meantime, there's been a whole lot of bouncing going on at the Mallett house!

Lent 2011

I'm sorely in need of some sacrifice these days.  After the initial rounds of unpacking, organizing, decorating, scheduling, and the like...I have to admit that apathy has set in.   I don't know why I expected our lives here to get up to speed in a few months, when it took 8 years to get everything in Pembroke ship shape!  I know it's silly to think that, but I really do miss having it 'all together' and get incredibly frustrated that I'm not in that place anymore.  It will come with time, I know, but it's so easy to just ignore the twelve mile long to-do list and sit down to watch Backyardigans with Ben.  Or worse, to spend that time googling things like "Peacock blue leather wingback chair" or "perfect blue transitional area rug" as if any of those things are the magic bullet I'm seeking,

So to shake things up, I'm considering some new ideas for Lent this year.

BYE BYE FACEBOOK
For the last few years I've given up Facebook and other social internet forums and I honestly love it.  It's hard at first, because checking Facebook, or checking in with my friends online is such a pervasive habit in my daily life.  But once the initial shock is over, it's completely FREEING and FABULOUS.   Especially when I take that time back and put it to use blogging, journaling, praying, or spending time focusing on family and home.

40 BAGS IN 40 DAYS
This is an idea that I first heard of over at Clover Lane.  Basically, you have to come up with a bag each day of things to throw away, give away or sell.  I did a huge purge last Lent in preparation for our move, and it was so liberating to rid our lives of so much accumulated junk.  When you commit to 40 bags in 40 days, you're not just tossing the clutter, the junk, the useless stuff.  You end up actually getting into the REAL stuff that at first glance, you'd convince yourself to keep.  But when you ask yourself the tough questions, you realize that life will be more free and less cluttered by letting it go. 

THE ROSARY
I used to say the rosary all the time.  Life just rolled on getting more and more demanding and I let it go.  I need to add prayer into my daily life more than I currently do.  So I'd like to try and fit in a whole rosary every day.  Without falling asleep in the middle.  This one is going to be a challenge!

SNACKS
This one is going to be the hardest of all.  But sacrifice isn't really sacrifice unless it stings, you know?  I don't know if I can make it with this one, because I'm very averse to things that sting, but I'm going to give it a try!

MASS
I haven't found a church yet that I love as much as the one we left behind when we moved.  And I sort of gave up after kissing a bunch of frogs.  But I *need* the grace and goodness I soak up at Sunday mass to get me through the week.  Life is just better with church in the mix.  So I'm making it a priority to get to mass every week, no excuses.

NO COMPLAINING.  NO JUDGING.  NO YELLING!...
I MEAN...no yelling  :o)
This one, to be honest, is going to be near impossible.  But I'm going to try!  I need to better control my character flaws in these areas.  Because I've been so focused on the move and the changes and the overwhelming work, I've let those things slide.  And I dont' like it at ALL about myself.

NURTURE
I need to finish what I started when 2011 began.  Life has conspired to shift my focus, and I need to get back to the business of supporting my family and myself and my circle of friends because THAT, more than anything, is what I believe God wants of me at this point in my life.

With two minutes to spare, that's my plan and I'm sticking to it!

Last day...boo-hoo!

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

Day two of mostly clouds with frequent downpours...

Food, glorious food!

The beauty of eating at an all inclusive is that everyone can tailor
their meals to their own preference. Mollys lunch is a perfect
example; bread pudding, an apple, bacon, ice cream and canteloupe.
That's a bacon smile she's sporting to show her approval. :o)

10am and all is well.

Wake up time was 3am. 5:25am currently and we are thoroughly enjoying
a surprise upgrade to first class (Thanks, Babe - that was free,
right? Don't tell me if it wasn't - I don't wanna know!). Turks and
caicos, here we come!