Saying Goodbye to Pregnancy



Anyone who has seen my Facebook profile over the last nine months can tesify that I've been pretty obsessed with taking pregnancy photos of myself. 

 



(NOT on Facebook...how I told Marc)



 

Being that this was our last journey down Pregnancy Lane, and being that I'm a memorykeeper at heart, and being that I'm a girl who has longed to be pregnant her whole entire life, and who has enjoyed every second of it...well, I needed to make sure that I did everything I could to savor pregnancy this one last time.

 

 

Much of that hasn't made it to the blog for the simple reason that my heart absolutely breaks over saying goodbye to what has been my life's goal since I was a child myself.  Of course it makes sense that you can't keep having babies forever, and my body has clearly told me that it doesn't like pregnancy as much as I do, what with the gestational diabetes and high blood pressure and other wacky things I've dealt with during my pregnancies.

 

 

But to never be pregnant again?

 

 

I could flood the place with tears about it!  I don't know how I've managed not to, but the dam hasn't broken yet, probably because sweet Maeve is so wonderful and delicious and lovely that one look at her is like a salve on my heart.

 

 

 

I always asked my friends who, after having baby number two, or three, or four, would exclaim with surety, "We are DONE!"  "How did you know?" I asked over and over again.  But I never understood their answers because what I didn't comprehend is that for some of us, there is no "done". 
We would have babies forever if we could. 

 

 

 

Without babies of our own we think up ways to be near other people's babies, like the two years I spent cuddling preeemies in the NICU at New England Medical Center (when I was ready to start having babies but a certain husband needed a little more time), or the photography business I have planned in my head for when my babies are all in school and I have time to devote to employment of the paying kind again.

 

 

 

Logically, I know it is time to be done. 

 

 

God has blessed me with everything I asked Him for.  A baby girl, a sister for Molly, a chance to do all things girly again, and an easygoing baby who likes to sleep to boot!  I told Him that if He could give me that, I could be satisfied.  If He sent another high-maintenance boy baby my way, then He'd be seeing me back at the well again, looking for the child that my heart knew was the final puzzle piece of our family.

 

 

And now she is here.  And she is marvelous!  And she truly completes our family.

 

 

But for me?  Let's just say that Grandmotherhood is looking a lot more appealing, since I'll get to relive pregnancy vicariously through my own children!  And in the meantime I'll keep my focus on loving the little ones (and the not so little ones) in my care, and doing the best job I can as their Mommy. 

 

 

 

Pregnancy is only one part of this journey called motherhood. 

These last pictures were taken about six hours before Maeve was born.

 

 



 

 One really, really magical and wonderful part. 

 

 

 

 

And I know there is more magic to be had,
even if it is time to kiss this leg of the journey goodbye. 

 

 

I wore pink to the hospital...wishful thinking or mothers intuition?

 

 

My maternity clothes sit in the corner, ready to be sorted and consigned, and thankfully, I live in a time and place where memories can be kept not just in your heart, but on paper in words, in photographs, and even virtually online.

 

 

My last picture with just three musketeers!

 

 I'm sure I'll revisit these memories often,

even as time marches on and we get busy

making loads of fabulous new ones.

 

 

 

 

Sweet Baby Girl

I figured I'd better find a way to blog one-handed on my iPhone or I may never update the blog! This is my first attempt at using the blogger app.

I'm just sitting here in the dark rocking you, Maeve. You were up to eat from 1-2 and now again from 3-4. I slept on between, except for when Ben came in and needed a snuggle.

I just kissed your neck, and your skin is so deliciously soft and sweet, it made me forget that I may need to drink coffee to get through the day tomorrow after having gone a whole month without it!

Happy one month birthday sweet baby! It's been surreal how fast it's zoomed by, but I'm doing my best to cherish the moments as they come. You are loved to pieces by all of us - I sure hope you like kisses, because if the last month is any indication, you're in for a whole lot of them!

Maeve's Due Date

 

Today is your due date, baby girl!

 

What a blessing that we've gotten to know you, snuggle you, hold you, and love you for 21 extra days!  You've been such a sleepy and sweet baby so far, but are definitely starting to wake up and be more alert.  But a calm, content alert, which is wonderful!  You are a stingy burper, preferring to hold onto your gas bubbles until long after you've eaten, when they bubble up and bug you during a rest.  Then you inevitably poop and get the hiccups from all the excitement. 

 

Your brothers and sister...and Daddy and I...and Nana and Papa...and pretty much anyone who's met you...simply adore you.  Molly loves to give you kisses and sing you "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star".  Ben loves to sneak in during your morning feeding at 5 or 6am and snuggle in bed with us, and he loves helping burp you.  Jack's favorite thing is coming home from school and holding you - it totally helps both of you relax after a long day.

 

You're sleeping pretty well at night for a breastfed preemie.  You wake three times; once around midnight, once around 3 and then again around 6.  Just like during the day, you like to eat every 3 hours or so.  Your 3am feeding seems to be the biggie, with lots of eating, a poop or two, a case of hiccups and some extra burping needed, but you usually tend to settle back down to sleep pretty easily once all your needs are tended to (lets hope that keeps up!).  To make up for the 90 minutes or so of lost sleep, I've been trying to go to bed early while Daddy stays up with you until your midnight feeding.  Easier said than done, but I'm trying!

 

Nana and Papa have been staying with us this past week, and we have them for four more days before they need to return home to Massachusetts.  I'm going to miss them when they go!  Nana is the queen housekeeper- her standards are way above mine, and this house has never run so smoothly!  And Papa is sure handy to have around for giving people rides wherever they need to go. 

 

And our neighbors have brought us dinner at least a dozen times - it's amazing how helpful and kind Midwesterners are!  Hardly a day goes by when I don't get five or six texts asking how someone can help; can they give one of the kids a ride somehwere?  Drop off dinner? Go grocery shopping?  It's really been amazing being the recipient of so much TLC!

 

I hope when you grow up, little one, that Daddy and I will be able to pitch in and help you out when you need it just like our families and friends have done for us.

 

We love you bunches, Miss Maeve, and we're so happy you are part of our family!

 

A Very Special Christmas

Nobody was more surprised than Marc and I that there was a BABY underneath our Christmas tree this year!  I was totally unprepared for being put on bedrest and not at all ready for bringing a baby into the world.  I was still not done Christmas shopping for goodness sakes!  I didn't even have diapers yet!  And everyone was sick in the house to boot - Molly and Ben had been throwing up, Jack caught a flu-like bug that knocked him down with a fever, chills, aches and cough for three days, and Marc caught a combination of both.

 

Thank goodness we still had four weeks until the baby came.

 

Except that we didn't!

My blood pressure kept going up, and with my body nowhwere near ready to  go into labor, there was  only one option: we had to have a c-section. I'd spent my pregnancy seeing a chiropractor twice a week, driving to a 'natural birth friendly' hospital and midwifery practice 35 minutes away from home, exercising throughout the pregnancy, doing squatting and yoga exercises, ALL with plans for a natural, unmedicated VBAC just like with Molly and Ben.

 

But sometimes you've just got to play the cards you're dealt.  I had a wonderful 35 weeks of pregnancy.  It was heaven.  Magical.  Perfect.  Even when I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, it was easy to stay within my limits because I was so healthy.

 

Week 36, however, required me to reassess priorities and chuck just about every hope I had for this baby's birth right out the window. Because in the end, developing pre-eclampsia and having seizures at home on Christmas Day was even LESS in my plans than having an unexpected c-section.

 

And of course, I knew from Jack's birth (which unfolded much the same way), that once my baby was here, I wouldn't care one bit about the rest.  And I was right...now that she's here, I can't imagine having to wait for Maeve to arrive until January 12th!

But having a baby four days before Christmas certainly changes plans.

Christmas this year was unique. 

The first, and biggest change was that Marc had to go to herculean effort to get everything done that needed to be done around the house to prepare for the holidays, even with a puke bucket in between his feet one night when he was particularly ill.  He totally earned the awesome husband of the year award for everything he did to pick up the slack where I needed to bow out.

 

Secondly, I didn't have a nice breakfast prepared for us to enjoy Christmas morning like I usually do. Or lunch, or even dinner for that matter. 

 

But there were excited children gigglin in the hallway MUCH too early in the morning, just like usual.  And there were LOADS of presents in neatly labeled piles around the family room, just like always. 

 

 

Except that this year, Auntie Treecie and Baby Maeve had piles too!

 

 

Molly was exceptionally excited about a set of Winx dolls Santa brought her.

Because I haven't let any of my kids NEAR the toy aisle of any department store in months, she had no idea they even exsisted.  But Santa did.  And he must have known that she would LOVE them, even if Mommy had to get over their questionable wardrobe choices.

 

 

There was also a whole lot of American Girl Doll paraphernalia to be opened as well.

 

 

Jack made a list with three things on it this year.

Marc and I told him he couldn't have two of the three

(the compound crossbow and the $700 telescope).

Santa did bring him the Airzooka he asked for.

He brought Ben one too, and much fun (albeit noisy fun) has become of them.

 

 

Ben got oodles of Ghostbusters toys.

A coup for Santa, since much of it consisted of collector's items meant for grownups.

Not 5 year old Ghostbuster fans

(who have never even seen the movie!)

 

So a few things stayed the same, though a whole lot of traditions and ideas got left by the wayside this year (for good reason of course).  But one tradition I wasn't going to let slip by was the Christmas Family Picture.  I've taken one every year since Marc and I got married (except for last year for some reason) and I was not going to miss the chance to get one with our sweet new baby under the tree.

 

It took a few tries to shake some sillies out.

 

 

Ben with his sillies,

and poor Marc with his sick eyes (he was still nauseous and achy).

Molly looks like Vanna White turning the baby instead of letters.

 

 

But Maeve was an angel tucked into her basket

 (I think she was pretty comfy all squished up like she'd been in my tummy).

And Molly quickly got with the program because she wanted pictures with her sister as much as Mommy did!

 

My sweet girls.

 

 

And this precious baby!

My heart could burst!

 

 

And we did finally get one with all of us in it.

The first Mallett Family Christmas picture as a family of SIX.

And memories to cherish for many years to come.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Sister's Hands

 

The boys like the baby, don't get me wrong. 

But Maeve's big sister is utterly SMITTEN. 

In LOVE. 

Big puffy heart, googly-eyed, over the moon

L-O-V-E 

 

So in love that she washes her hands seventy times a day to make sure that whenever she is in her sister's presence, she is at the ready to hold her, help her, pat her, love her, touch her hand, touch her head, touch her cheek, touch her anyplace, really.

 

On New Year's Eve, with Auntie Treecie visiting from Massachusetts, Marc and I snuck out to dinner (it was his 40th birthday after all!).  Molly went to Patrice while we were out, crying that her hands hurt.  They were so chapped and raw, all the way up to her wrists, that it's a wonder she didn't complain long before!  The next day I gave her her own personal tube of Norwegian Formula Neutrogena hand cream because everything else would sting, the sweet thing was so sore.

 

And still, today, despite me telling her to take a break from handwashing unless she uses the potty, she still wants to wash too often, because she loves her sister so much and can't bear not to touch her.

 

That's my girl.  So loving that she puts her sister's need for germ control before her own hands.

That's because sisters are special.  I'm so glad we have some in our house!