Sick Kids, story of my winter

This poor, sweet, snot ball of a toddler pitched a hissy fit when I dared out her down for a nap.  Not wanting to exacerbate her boogeriness, I gave up and plopped her on the couch.

Five minutes later...

Yep, thought so.  Just adds another layer of challenge to my quest to take a shower before I start scaring people!

My kitchen floor

I'm not sure Mr. Fleetwood catches as many crumbs as I do when he sweeps the lunch room floor each day at school.  Some days it feels like I share my table with a pack of wild animals!

Happy New Year, 2015!!

Our babysitter had better New Year's Eve plans than we did this year, and the only babysitter left in the neighborhood was 13 and could only stay out until 11pm...so we decided to stay in.  And with 48 hours until the ball drop in Times Square, we invited any of our friends without sitters to join us.  It turned out to be a fun time!

It was Marc's birthday, but he brought ME flowers!  And even better, they were the kind I would have bought myself if I'd have been in the store, they make me smile every time I look at them!

Last year we filled out a New Year's list and the kids' answers were so fun I wanted to make it a tradition .  It will be so cool to see how they grow through the years based on their own year-end reviews.  

Maeve's 1st Birthday cake from Nothing Bundt Cakes was such a hit, I ran with the idea again for Marc's cake.  White White Chocolate on top and Chocolate Chocolate Chip on bottom.  And we finally had reason to bust out all the champagne glasses I bought for Molly's First Communion and Maeve's Baptism in 2013.  They are stemless because they were 1/4 the price of stemmed ones on Amazon.com that year.  That made them so much more good-looking to me I had no choice but to buy them!

I had 48 hours to whip this party together, so the veggies were store bought and the dip was homemade from a Tastefully Simple mix that takes seconds to prepare.

The entertainment was storebought too!

The only other thing that wasn't storebought were the two special sauces I tmade for Marc's cake.  He's obsessed with bourbon these days, so I used one of his favorites to make a Bourbon Cream sauce and a Bourbon Caramel.  They were amazing, but I halved the bourbon in the cream sauce after taste testing the caramel and nearly growing chest hair!

Disclaimer: anyone who knows me knows it killed me to not have cute little labels on these canning jars.  With 48 hours to plan, something's got to give!  for the record though, it would have been something like this....

Someday!

For the record though, both sauces were DIVINE on the cake. 

And the sparklers on top were loads of fun too!

I tried to get pictures of the 13 kids that were in attendance, I swear I tried!  But the boys were too fast for me and the girls were BANANAS - this was the best I could get!  

Unlike their mommas, who are more than happy to pose for the camera!

I wanted to keep Maeve up to sing Happy Birthday to Daddy, but the last of the guests didn't arrive until 9:30, so she was starting to get glassy-eyed  (her bedtime is usually 8:30).  The Elmo app on my iPhone came to the rescue though!

This girl had a BALL.  But she kept stealing my fancy tiara.  Next time I'll make sure to buy her one too!

She  made a point to 'match' her outfit to Maeve's dress.  Too sweet!

She was looking so grown up tonight.  Maybe it's the Katy Perry bangs she got butchered with at the salon?  Wisftully, I think it's just father time creeping up on us.

This little one was also making me wistful in her hand-me-down dress from Molly's second Christmas.  I remember Molly tiptoeing barefoot around Nana and Papa's house that year - the year she got her baby doll bed, that Maeve played with just that morning.  This evening however, she'd taken a shine to one of the woodland animals that decorated our fireplace this year.

She's got her Daddy wrapped around her little finger too.

 
  Eventually Maeve made it to bed and we tucked the others in at 12:15 after all the noisemakers were tooted and New Year's kisses and hugs given.  We paid for that dearly as they were grumpusauruses the next day and Ben was a complete train wreck at bedtime for two days running.  1-2 hours of hysterical crying because he was so overtired.  But that's the price you pay sometimes when you're a parent.  All those celebrations and late nights we enjoyed without strings when we were in our teens and twenties and could sleep until 2pm the next day....I sure appreciate them in hindsight!

Happy 2015 to everyone, and Happy 42 to Marc!  We may not be able to sleep in until 2, but at least we've got some super-cute company when our early risers wake us up!

Sands Through The Hourglass

I saw this on Pinterest tonight and it accurately describes where my heart is these days.

  

Of course it's Jen Hatmaker!  I recently read her book "Seven" and it's changed my heart in many ways, particularly in making it more tender.  Technically, it was always tender.  It's just that I only let the tenderness well up to a certain level because if I didn't keep it in check it'd spill over.  Mostly out my eyes.  You can't cry your heart out every day and be a terribly effective mother.  

However, Jen's perspective set my threshold a little higher.  

It could be the time of year (baby Jesus always makes me spill over) 

but the other day while sitting at a stop light running from one errand to another with no kids in the car, I just burst into tears thinking about how much I miss them.  Not the "them" that I interact with day to day.  That 'them' I love and kiss and hug and cherish and argue with and fuss over and nag till their sick of me.  

The 'them' I miss to the point of heartbreak is the 'them' that is lost to time.  

THEM at six months old

THEM at one year old

THEM at 18 months

THEM at 2

or 3

or 5

or 7

or 10

THEM of six months ago

or last year

or last decade.

And it seems no matter how much I soak them up in the here and now, 

it's never enough.  I guess that's love.  It's definitely 

NATSUGASHII.

Toddler Talk

Me: Maeve, how old are you?
Maeve: Maeve!
Me: Will you have a birthday soon?
Maeve: Birthday soon!
Me: And then how old will you be?
Maeve: GREEN!
Me: Will you be two?
Maeve: No! Four.

Geography Lessons

Interview With ME!

My babysitter Demi is a senior in high school, taking a business development course that will help her learn about a career path she is thinking about for her future.  She loves kids and wants to be a nanny or a teacher, so she babysits for me and one other family for a total of 15 hours each week.  She has also spent time shadowing teachers of different grade levels to see what that job is like.  In between, she works with her teacher and peers to develop goals and strategies, self-assess, and think critically about ways to be an exemplary employee and find work-life balance. 

I sure wish I had a class like that in high school instead of using the school-of-hard-knocks approach during my college and career development years!

This week, her homework was to interview me about my job as a mother.  I had a fun time answering these questions, and found the answers to be revealing, even to myself!

1:  What did you do after high school?  Did you work, further your education, travel, etc?

After high school I attended St. Joseph's College in Windham, Maine.  Initially I majored in Biology, thinking I would go to medical school or get a master's degree in Marine Biology, but after dissecting my first pig, I decided it wasn't the path for me!  I switched gears and  graduated Summa Cum Laude in 1994 with a B.S. in Business, with a double major of Marketing and International Business. My college internship was 3 months spent working for the Executive Office of the President during the first Clinton administration.  Living in Washington, D.C. on my own as a 20 year old, and working across the street from the White House, was an amazing experience!

After college, I worked as the Marketing Coordinator of a home health care company, eventually rising to the level of Manager of Contracts and Sales.  I worked for the same company for 8 years and my job was to seek, manage and close contracts with health insurers that enabled my company to provide home medical services to patients of all ages and needs, but primarily children with complex medical issues who would otherwise be unable to live at home with their families.   

The independence and financial stability of those years was fantastic!  I was able to spend a month backpacking through Europe, take a few trips to Mexico, spend summers weekending on the beach in Newport with friends and winters skiing in New Hampshire.  I took golf lessons, ballet lessons, painting lessons, and developed lots of new passions!  I also loved daily workouts and yoga classes, and spent two nights a week volunteering at New England Medical center, playing with kids in the Pediatric ICU and rocking babies in the Neonatal ICU. 

2: When did you get married and where else have you lived?

I grew up in Plymouth, MA, birthplace of Thanksgiving!  My husband Marc grew up in Revere, MA, named after Paul Revere.  We met in college and got married when we were 25, after dating for 8 years.  We lived in the Beacon Hill section of Boston, MA and then moved to the suburbs when we started our family.  In 2010 we moved to Naperville for Marc's job, and love it here!

3: How long did you wait to have your first baby?

We had Jack 3 1/2 years after we got married, when we were 29.  Molly followed 3 years after that, Ben 2 years later, and Maeve 5 years later!

4: Would you ever send your kids to daycare? 

Why or why not?

Because I left the workforce to stay at home, I didn't need to send my kids to daycare. That wasn't luck, it was a conscious choice that we'd prepared for, emotionally and financially, for the three years we were married prior to having kids.  But it wasn't because we felt one option was inferior to the other, it was because it was a lifelong goal of mine to spend these growing years with my kids, both for my sake and theirs.  

If I ever needed to use daycare, I would take my cue from my many girlfriends who did not leave the workforce when they became parents and used a variety of child care options to make sure their children were well cared for, from full time live-in nannies to live-out nannies, to family, babysitters, in-home daycare, center daycare and so on. 

5: If you were a working mom, who would watch your kids?

If family wasn't an option, I'd probably use a combination of a live-out nanny (especially for the baby days when bonding is so important and their immune system is developing) coupled with center-based Daycare  There is a daycare center in Naperville named Compass that teaches children based on a Reggio-Emilia inspired curriculum, which is exactly how I play-teach-inspire my kids, so it would be a great fit!   

6: What is the difference between having 3 kids to having 4?

There isn't much difference between having 3 and 4, but the jump from 2-3 is monumental!  That's when you have to switch from a "man-to-man"  to a "zone" defense.  After 3, 4 is pretty easy!  That said, a lot of the ease of parenting depends on the ages and personalities of the children in the family.  Stronger personalities make things more challenging, and very young, or very spread out ages, make things more challenging too!

7: What is the hardest thing about being a mom of four children? 

The logistics of caring for four children is a big challenge - some days it feels like I never leave the kitchen, never find the bottom of the laundry pile, never have the house properly picked up, or never get out of the car.  The physical work is far greater, and far more boring than I ever imagined.  Staying motivated is HARD.  

But the biggest challenge is probably caring for the emotional needs of four incredibly different personalities.  Before I had children I was convinced that nurturing them was the biggest factor in ensuring their development into fabulous human beings. I thought I could shape their personalities, desires and actions in the image I wanted.  

After having children, however, I realize that while nurturing is a factor, NATURE is a far more potent factor.  They come with their personalities and desires already formed, and that isn't likely to change no matter what kind of nurturing I do as their parent.  Nurturing, instead of changing who they already are, softens their edges, fortifies their strengths, and strengthens their weaknesses.  

The most challenging part of this type of nurturing is the discipline factor.  How can you be strict and yet understanding at the same time?  How do you keep a fair system while differentiating it for four different personalities who all require different approaches?  How do you maintain order while still enabling children to make their own choices?  

Ten years in, I still don't have it figured out!

8. Do you have any future work goals? 

I'm at the end of my baby years now, and in another 4 years will have all four kids in school full time.  It's both exciting and sad at the same time, to say goodbye to one phase of life and move on to the next.  My years spent mothering have taught me much, and given me new talents and skills that I hope to build into a new career.  

My plan is to start my own photography business, taking beautiful, natural-light portraits of families and children throughout Chicagoland.  I'll never stop loving babies and kids, so just like my volunteer jobs before I had my own kids, photography will allow me to be involved with kids of all ages.  My favorite part will be working with new babies!