A King and a Prince

Martin Luther KING Jr, and PRINCE Caspian of Narnia to be exact. 

Who knew the two would work magic together in our world tonight. 

Today was the day when, as a nation, we celebrate and remember one of the most influential humans of our time, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

I've always struggled with how to explain the darkest parts of our nation's history to the kids.  They are so innocent still, and I hate to destroy their naive ignorance of the evil that exists in this world.  Theirs is a small, insular world of unconditional love and a million second chances, where the most awful infraction is telling a fib or smacking a sibling. 

Marc and I have done that on purpose - it's been a conscious effort to let them keep their innocence as long as possible.  We don't watch the news in their presence, we don't get the newspaper at home, and we don't share national tragedies with them unless they directly affect them or the people we love. So how do you explain why scads of Americans thought segregation was a brilliant idea, to kids who don't have any overt experience with racism?   We are currently reading The Voyage of the Dawn Treader  as we continue enjoying the Chronicles of Narnia. We started with The Magician's Nephew, then The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, moved on to A Horse and His Boy, and skipped over Prince Caspian because the library at Molly's school didn't have it and she was so excited to find The Voyage of the Dawn Treader that we decided to throw caution to the mainsail and skip ahead.

The story in a nutshell (up to where we are) is that Lucy and Edmund are sent to spend the summer with their perfectly dreadful cousin Eustace and on the very first day, as Eustace is teasing Lucy for her love of a painting on the wall (a painting of a dragon-headed ship on a tumultuous sea) the painting comes to life as a window into Narnia.  Before they know it, the cousins are swept out to sea and rescued by the ship, which happens to be the Dawn Treader, the ship of the Pevensie's friend Caspian, who became King hundreds of years after their own reign (in Narnian time, which runs nothing like Earth time).

 They join Caspian's crew and head off to the Lone Islands in search of some important advisors who had been banished years ago by Caspian's uncle who wanted the crown for himself. On the way, they just happen to be kidnapped by pirates who plan to sell them into slavery.

 How apropos that on the day we honor Dr. King, C.S. Lewis gift-wrapped my lead-in to explain segregation to children who have no idea how blessed they are to have friends that span the rainbow! To them, the idea of judging someone by the color of their skin and not by the content of their character, is as foreign as a third arm.

I did my best to explain to Molly and Ben that segregation was a result of the racism created by a slave trade wherein white people deluded themselves that Africans were not equal to them, and therefore, appropriate to claim as property.  Even the Civil War, which claimed the lives of over 600,000 Americans and the Emancipation proclamation by Abraham Lincoln did not erase those feelings which were embedded in the culture and passed down through generations as a bizarre birthright. Some of the lengthy Q&A that followed...

Why did Dr. King die?

He was killed by someone very misguided.

Why was he killed?

Because the person who killed him was afraid of the power of the ideas Dr. King was sharing with America, that people should be treated as equals regardless of the color of their skin.  The person thought that if they killed Dr. King, his ideas would die with him.

But his ideas didn't die with him, right?

No, the person who killed Dr. King did the exact opposite of that.  

Dr. King's ideas became even MORE powerful after he died.

Did other people die?

Yes, others died or were hurt or scared  by the people who wanted things to stay the way they were.

Why were those people so mean?

Because they thought they were right, and they were afraid of things being different.

What did they do?

They intimidated people by threatening to hurt them or their families, they burned crosses on people's lawns, they beat people up or threw things through people's windows

That sounds scary.  Why didn't the police arrest them?

Sometimes they did.  But sometimes they coudln't catch them all.  And sometimes the police were helping them because they thought the same way.

At this point, Ben said "Well, I'd just kick them in the face!" to which I explained, "But Dr. King wouldn't want you to do that.  He'd tell you to stay calm and be peaceful.  If you hurt people, then they'll get mad and say "See, I told you those people were evil!" and keep on believing the wrong things.  But if you stay calm, you can show them there's a different way."

But what if they hate you or hurt you anyway?
That's a risk many people took.  And some of them were hated, or hurt, or killed.  But finally, enough people believed in doing things a new way that our country changed the laws to end segregation.

And now everyone can be equal and not have to drink from separate fountains?

Well, segregation by race is illegal now, but everyone still is not treated as equal. There's still work to be done to make that dream come true.  That's one of the reasons we celebrate Martin Luther King day - to remind ourselves that it takes every one of us working together to build a world like the one Dr. King imagined.

 

Christmas Spirit

It's four degrees out with 24 hours fresh snow on the ground.  I am driving around in my Rudolphmobile delivering Christmas cards to local friends.  My christmas station on pandora is playing the loveliest music - The Little Drummer Boy has come in twice already.  There are more lights in each neighborhood I drive through and I'm driving as pokily as possible to savor them.  

The air is full with Christmas spirit, the real thing, devoid of hustle and bustle.  It's WONDERFUL. 

I thought for a moment that I should go back and get the children so they could enjoy it too, but then I realized they'd just bicker and whine in the backseat and not enjoy it at all (and then neither would I!)

So this is MY private time to soak it all up.  

Merry and bright, that's how I'm feeling tonight :)

What I want to say to Ben's Kindergarten Teacher

This is the email Ben's kindergarten teacher sent me on Friday...

Good Afternoon,

Ben had a very challenging day at school today. He was unable to follow directions and needed multiple reminders to do simple tasks. He also had a hard time not distracting himself and the students around him during whole group time. Ben became argumentative with me when I talked with him about his behavior. Due to his behavior, he had to sit out of free choice time. During that time, he began kicking the table multiple times, banging his fists on the table, throwing his supply box on the ground, turning folders upside down to dump things out and tearing his name tag off of this spot. I spoke with him about how it is okay to feel upset or angry but there are different ways to handle those feelings. Thank you for taking some time to speak with Ben about his behavior. I appreciate your support at home. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you.

Mrs. Macchiarella

This is the email I wanted to send back to her.

Good Morning,

Thank you for letting us know that Ben had a tough day on Friday.  We are disappointed in his poor behavior.  After two straight months of positive daily reports, this is clearly not the norm for Ben.  It was of course not acceptable, and we have spoken to him about it.  We don't expect it to continue and would appreciate you letting us know if it does.

Now that you mention it, I do have some questions for you;

• Do you realize that Ben is just SIX years old?
• Do you have any concept of what normal behavior is for a six year old boy?
• Did you notice that due to the bitter cold this week, the kids were trapped indoors for recess four out of five days?  
• Do you think that may have contributed to the problem?
• Could you maybe have sensed that he needed some physical activity and sent him on a walk to the office to fetch you something, or to get a drink of water?
• Did you think that maybe he was hungry?  
• Could you have reminded him to eat his snack?
• Speaking of snacks, have you ever heard of a 'compliment sandwich'?
• Do you realize that you have not said ONE POSITIVE THING about our son to us?  Not even at teacher conferences.  Not in emails.  Not EVER.
• Do you realize that thanking us for our cooperation with your plan without ever ASKING us for our cooperation with your plan is just plain disrespectful and condescending?
• Have you noticed that Ben has regressed in his handwriting and reading skills since he has been in your class?  
• Do you know how worried this makes us?
• Do you know how much Ben LOVED school before he got to your class, and how much he doesn't anymore?  
• Do you know how much that breaks our hearts as his parents?
• Do you even like our kid?

Mrs. Macchiarella, as the adult in charge of our son for six hours of his day, it would be incredibly helpful to us if you could try to throw a little more encouragement his way.  A little acknowledgement of the amazing turnaround in his behavior after a very rocky start to kindergarten.  A 'few kind words letting us know that our child is not JUST a bother to you and your classroom.  Some evidence that you DO see his strengths and that you do enjoy being his teacher would reassure us that we have sent him to a place where he can grow and thrive instead of a place where he is expected to sit still and follow directions.

It takes a very determined person to juggle a pregnancy, masters degree studies, and a kindergarten classroom with a high student-teacher ratio all at the same time.   I understand it is not easy,and that as in all things, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so of course you are more likely to document the negative behaviors when they crop up.  

But it's also not easy being six years old.

Please take a little more care with our boy.  He means the world to us.  Soon you will have your own baby in your arms and you will understand.  You can't possibly fathom right now, because you haven't crossed the bridge yet.  The bridge into parenthood takes you to a world bursting in technicolor, when you had no idea you were living in black and white.

Once you cross that bridge, your heart is forever changed and far more tender than you could ever imagine.  So please try to show a little more empathy and kindness to this sweet boy who clearly needed it last Friday.  Or maybe take maternity leave early and give the kids a shot with a sub who can.  

Sincerely,

The mom who is totally NOT baking you Christmas cookies this year.

Smoothie Lover

I would have made her a smoothie long before now if I knew how much she would love it!

Coconut milk blended with frozen raspberries and blueberries, a touch of agave nectar and a squeeze of lime.

Yum!

What We're Reading

It's not easy coming up with bedtime stories to please a 3rd grade  chapter-book-reader and a kindergarten emerging reader, but the series we are reading right now has them both DYING of suspense and excitement!

I've been saving it for years, literally.  The store that I bought it from no longer exists these have been gathering dust for so long.

But when Ben and Molly (and even Jack eavesdropping) made it through A Wrinkle in Time and The Last of the Really Great Whandoodles (twice!) I knew it was time.

Here's a hint...

It's The Chronicles of Narnia!!!!!

I have chills just thinking about it.  About how this was the first story EVER that moved me to tears from just WORDS on a PAGE.  I don't even remember how old I was.  Eight?  Eleven?  Sixteen?  But I'll never forget Aslan and the sacrifice he made and how it rocked me to my core...and I'm so beyond excited that the kids are into the story as much as I was.

This is the set we have

I'd never read The Magician's Nephew before, and it was the perfect place to start.  The kids went bananas over crazy Uncle Andrew and evil queen Jadis and smart, sure Polly and Digory the boy who reminds us of another boy or two who struggle with self-control.

And now we're 3/4 of the way through The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe and I hope I can hold it together through the tough part that I know is coming.  Especially at this time of year when I wear my faith on my sleeve and thoughts of newborn babes-in-mangers and ultimate sacrifices are on my mind.

I've promised the kids that when we finish (next week maybe?) we will have a big movie night where we watch the movie and feast on Turkish Delight.  Who even knew what Turkish Delight was when I read the book originally?  Now, thanks to the internet, we can not only look it up, we can BUY it right there with a click or two!

Doesn't it look delectable??!

Ben is seriously beside himself about the Turkish Delight - 

he does an excited dance every time he mentions it...which is often!  

Oh how I love bringing out the bookworms in these little people!

Portillo's Chocolate Cake

Yum.

He cut this slice all by himself.

Ear Infections Stink

Poor sweet baby has been asleep in her (detested) car seat for almost two hours! I need to go into Walmart and shop for her birthday party, but she needs the sleep so badly I won't wake her.  

I took my own 30 minute siesta and have been making phone calls to order the food that I won't be cooking because I've been busy playing nurse all week.