Potty Training is not for Sissies

I knew I hated potty training.  I just forgot all the reasons.  After four days of me, Ben and his turtle potty hanging out together, I remember!

The little guy was keeping himself dry all night, and could hold it during the day like a camel.  So really, it was just me holding him back.  I had to suck it up and do the right thing.

And just like I expected, he took to it like a duck to water!  Of course he knew how to go.  He's watched the rest of us file in and out of the loo for the last 3 years, he's no dummy.  But ask him if he wants to use the potty and the answer was always "NOPE!".  So I didn't ask this time.  I just told him, and everyone else "On Monday, Ben's going to learn to use the potty!"

I used my neighbor Kris' suggestion of a 3 day potty bootcamp.  Just Ben, me and loads of pretzels and salty snacks followed up by buckets of watered down apple juice.  By the time the kids got off the bus on the first day, he'd already had 7 hits!  The only 'miss' was when we were coming back from picking the kids up - he was wearing pants and they threw him off.

So pee?  Pee we've got covered.  But #2 is a different matter entirely.

He decided he wasn't going to go.  Ever.  I'm not into tough potty love, so I told him since we wear diapers when we sleep, and since it was naptime, he could wear one.  And then when he didn't nap, I let him roam in it for a while.  I figured it would give him an 'out'.

He didn't want an out though.  He just didn't want to poop!  So for three and a half looooooooooong days, he didn't.  We've been here before - it's a control issue.  I knew he wasn't constipated, so it was only a matter of time before the castle walls were breached.  But the WAITING, and the WHINING, and the

"Help me Mommy!"

"Hold me!"

"I need to sit on your lap, Mommy!"

"MommyMommyMommyMommyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeee!"

That, plus the fact Ben's poop-avoidance protocol is to jog around incessantly in circles, only stopping to put a death grip on my leg (face, neck, back, really whatever he can grab fastest)...was enough to drive me to the edge.

It's the constant state of red alert that a potty training parent has to be on during daylight hours.  It's like living with a bomb that could go off at any time.  And as the domestic goddess of the household, it's my job to make sure that NOTHING HITS THE UPHOLSTERY OR CARPET!!! 

So he jogs around, I jog behind him.  All.   Day.  Long.

Finally today, the end of the battle was imminent.   He insisted on having to hold me, so I stood there and let him tree-hug my leg.  For twenty minutes.  Thank goodness for Iphones, that's all I'm saying.

And still....NOTHING!

Finally I just gave up.  I logged on to check email for ten minutes and just let him go.  He was jogging all around the house, up the stairs, down the stairs, through the kitchen, over the couch, in the front hall, through the dining room and back again. 

"Let it fall where it may" I figured.  I was too exhausted to care!

And then a miracle happened.  He jogged over, plunked down beside me, and...

this

space

is

an

escape

hatch

for

those

with

a

weak

stomach

because

YES,

I'm

about

to

go

there...

PAYDIRT!

He apparently was even more exhausted from the ordeal than I was, and was in bed, asleep, before sunset.  It's 8:30pm and I am not far behind.

Tomorrow is our first diaper free car ride and play date.  Prayers would be gratefully appreciated!