Christmas Spirit

It's four degrees out with 24 hours fresh snow on the ground.  I am driving around in my Rudolphmobile delivering Christmas cards to local friends.  My christmas station on pandora is playing the loveliest music - The Little Drummer Boy has come in twice already.  There are more lights in each neighborhood I drive through and I'm driving as pokily as possible to savor them.  

The air is full with Christmas spirit, the real thing, devoid of hustle and bustle.  It's WONDERFUL. 

I thought for a moment that I should go back and get the children so they could enjoy it too, but then I realized they'd just bicker and whine in the backseat and not enjoy it at all (and then neither would I!)

So this is MY private time to soak it all up.  

Merry and bright, that's how I'm feeling tonight :)

What I want to say to Ben's Kindergarten Teacher

This is the email Ben's kindergarten teacher sent me on Friday...

Good Afternoon,

Ben had a very challenging day at school today. He was unable to follow directions and needed multiple reminders to do simple tasks. He also had a hard time not distracting himself and the students around him during whole group time. Ben became argumentative with me when I talked with him about his behavior. Due to his behavior, he had to sit out of free choice time. During that time, he began kicking the table multiple times, banging his fists on the table, throwing his supply box on the ground, turning folders upside down to dump things out and tearing his name tag off of this spot. I spoke with him about how it is okay to feel upset or angry but there are different ways to handle those feelings. Thank you for taking some time to speak with Ben about his behavior. I appreciate your support at home. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you.

Mrs. Macchiarella

This is the email I wanted to send back to her.

Good Morning,

Thank you for letting us know that Ben had a tough day on Friday.  We are disappointed in his poor behavior.  After two straight months of positive daily reports, this is clearly not the norm for Ben.  It was of course not acceptable, and we have spoken to him about it.  We don't expect it to continue and would appreciate you letting us know if it does.

Now that you mention it, I do have some questions for you;

• Do you realize that Ben is just SIX years old?
• Do you have any concept of what normal behavior is for a six year old boy?
• Did you notice that due to the bitter cold this week, the kids were trapped indoors for recess four out of five days?  
• Do you think that may have contributed to the problem?
• Could you maybe have sensed that he needed some physical activity and sent him on a walk to the office to fetch you something, or to get a drink of water?
• Did you think that maybe he was hungry?  
• Could you have reminded him to eat his snack?
• Speaking of snacks, have you ever heard of a 'compliment sandwich'?
• Do you realize that you have not said ONE POSITIVE THING about our son to us?  Not even at teacher conferences.  Not in emails.  Not EVER.
• Do you realize that thanking us for our cooperation with your plan without ever ASKING us for our cooperation with your plan is just plain disrespectful and condescending?
• Have you noticed that Ben has regressed in his handwriting and reading skills since he has been in your class?  
• Do you know how worried this makes us?
• Do you know how much Ben LOVED school before he got to your class, and how much he doesn't anymore?  
• Do you know how much that breaks our hearts as his parents?
• Do you even like our kid?

Mrs. Macchiarella, as the adult in charge of our son for six hours of his day, it would be incredibly helpful to us if you could try to throw a little more encouragement his way.  A little acknowledgement of the amazing turnaround in his behavior after a very rocky start to kindergarten.  A 'few kind words letting us know that our child is not JUST a bother to you and your classroom.  Some evidence that you DO see his strengths and that you do enjoy being his teacher would reassure us that we have sent him to a place where he can grow and thrive instead of a place where he is expected to sit still and follow directions.

It takes a very determined person to juggle a pregnancy, masters degree studies, and a kindergarten classroom with a high student-teacher ratio all at the same time.   I understand it is not easy,and that as in all things, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so of course you are more likely to document the negative behaviors when they crop up.  

But it's also not easy being six years old.

Please take a little more care with our boy.  He means the world to us.  Soon you will have your own baby in your arms and you will understand.  You can't possibly fathom right now, because you haven't crossed the bridge yet.  The bridge into parenthood takes you to a world bursting in technicolor, when you had no idea you were living in black and white.

Once you cross that bridge, your heart is forever changed and far more tender than you could ever imagine.  So please try to show a little more empathy and kindness to this sweet boy who clearly needed it last Friday.  Or maybe take maternity leave early and give the kids a shot with a sub who can.  

Sincerely,

The mom who is totally NOT baking you Christmas cookies this year.

Smoothie Lover

I would have made her a smoothie long before now if I knew how much she would love it!

Coconut milk blended with frozen raspberries and blueberries, a touch of agave nectar and a squeeze of lime.

Yum!

What We're Reading

It's not easy coming up with bedtime stories to please a 3rd grade  chapter-book-reader and a kindergarten emerging reader, but the series we are reading right now has them both DYING of suspense and excitement!

I've been saving it for years, literally.  The store that I bought it from no longer exists these have been gathering dust for so long.

But when Ben and Molly (and even Jack eavesdropping) made it through A Wrinkle in Time and The Last of the Really Great Whandoodles (twice!) I knew it was time.

Here's a hint...

It's The Chronicles of Narnia!!!!!

I have chills just thinking about it.  About how this was the first story EVER that moved me to tears from just WORDS on a PAGE.  I don't even remember how old I was.  Eight?  Eleven?  Sixteen?  But I'll never forget Aslan and the sacrifice he made and how it rocked me to my core...and I'm so beyond excited that the kids are into the story as much as I was.

This is the set we have

I'd never read The Magician's Nephew before, and it was the perfect place to start.  The kids went bananas over crazy Uncle Andrew and evil queen Jadis and smart, sure Polly and Digory the boy who reminds us of another boy or two who struggle with self-control.

And now we're 3/4 of the way through The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe and I hope I can hold it together through the tough part that I know is coming.  Especially at this time of year when I wear my faith on my sleeve and thoughts of newborn babes-in-mangers and ultimate sacrifices are on my mind.

I've promised the kids that when we finish (next week maybe?) we will have a big movie night where we watch the movie and feast on Turkish Delight.  Who even knew what Turkish Delight was when I read the book originally?  Now, thanks to the internet, we can not only look it up, we can BUY it right there with a click or two!

Doesn't it look delectable??!

Ben is seriously beside himself about the Turkish Delight - 

he does an excited dance every time he mentions it...which is often!  

Oh how I love bringing out the bookworms in these little people!

Portillo's Chocolate Cake

Yum.

He cut this slice all by himself.

Ear Infections Stink

Poor sweet baby has been asleep in her (detested) car seat for almost two hours! I need to go into Walmart and shop for her birthday party, but she needs the sleep so badly I won't wake her.  

I took my own 30 minute siesta and have been making phone calls to order the food that I won't be cooking because I've been busy playing nurse all week.  

Dear Maeve on the eve of your first birthday party

Sweet Maeve,

I had so many intentions when I planned your first birthday party. I wanted it to be the perfect celebration of you and your first year.

I intended to make you a beautiful slideshow with a montage of the video 'conversations' you and I have had each month, and I wanted to take all the special pictures of your milestones and do something special with them around the house.  I wanted to make your baby book, and highlight so many special moments.

But instead, this week when I had blocked off time to do all those wonderful things?  Instead of that I held you and I rocked you.

I held you and I rocked you all through the night while you cried and couldn't settle down because your nose is stuffy and your chest is congested and your ears hurt.

I laid awake with you on my chest, gently patting your back when you stirred, and keeping your head elevated as you wheezed and snuffled and gagged and puked.

Instead of staying up late making you a fabulous slideshow I comfort nursed you for hours and hours and hours, and made the rounds from glider, to bed, to swing, to crib, and back again.

 

Instead of printing out all those adorable photos and putting them up on a clothesline documenting your first milestones, I slept with you in the crook of my arm where you threw up all over me and all over my bed, requiring a middle of the night shower for both of us and three loads of laundry the next morning.

Instead of making the wall art that I envisioned, I did laundry, and washed your hair and changed your pajamas and kissed your head and let you pinch me and hit me and cry on me in frustration.

So even though your birthday party will be fabulous, it may not have all those little details that I had dreamed of.

But that's okay with me because I'll have lots of months and years to print out the pictures of the memories of this first year, but I only have right NOW to soothe you when you are unsoothable, to shush you to sleep when you wanted to scream, to nurse you when you could hardly keep anything down, to love you when you need to be loved by your mama.

Because in the end, that's what all this motherhood business is about. And I thank you for reminding me of that simple but important lesson with your sleeplessness and puke.

There are still two weeks until your actual birthday and maybe I'll get some of those little slideshows done, or maybe I'll spend some more time blogging with my two thumbs on my iPhone while you rest on my chest, like you're doing right now.

 

I sure do love you little one.